Alok Nath: The latest Rajnikanth on Twitter

It can be said that 30th December, 2013 was ‘Alok Nath’ day as for no apparent reasons, jokes based on Bollywood actor Alok Nath started trending on Sunday night; Seemingly, after some movie of his was aired on some TV channel.

It started off with one funny tweet saying, “Our nation only learnt about heart attacks because of Alok Nath. This was quickly followed by another tweet saying, “Alok Nath wears sweater in Mumbai because his mom in Punjab felt cold”.

Audiences have been enjoying Rajinikanth and ACP Pradhyuman (from CID) jokes so far, so is Alok Nath the next one to join the list?


Some of the jokes trending on Alok Nath are:

1) Salman Khan is still Virgin because of Sanskar given by Alok Nath in Maine Pyaar Kiya.

2) When Alok Nath was born doctor said, “Badhaai ho, babuji huay hain.

3) Alok Nath smokes agarbattis.

4) Alok Nath’s wildest fantasies involve a harmonium and Reema Lagoo.

5) For Alok Nath, Ram chahe Leela chahe Leela chahe Ram is a bhajan.

6) Alok Nath call his wife ‘Samdhaan’.

7) If Alok Nath goes in Biggboss.. Every morning will start with a Hanuman Chalisa and Mata Rani Aarti.

8) Poonam Pandey shud thank her stars that Alok Nath didnt give her Sanskars, else her life would’ve been hopeless & she would’ve been jobless.

9) Rohit Sharma and Dale steyn should watch some Alok nath movies and learn Sanskar.

10) Alok Nath was the first person to call Parle as ParleG!”

11) Alok Nath only saw this season of Big Boss. Kyunki Big Boss saath 7 hai

12) Why are people talking about alok nath? PS. autocorrect turned him into aloo bath

13) Alok Nath went for Sunburn and did surya namaskar.

14) Rahul Dravid was Alok Nath of Indian Cricket team.

15) Alok Nath once blessed wheat farms and now we have Aashirwaad atta


16) Wat will Alok Nath ride if he stars in Dhoom 3 ? Bullock cart.

17) Once Alok Nath gave aashirwad to a boy. Today we know that boy as ARVIND


18) Alok Nath snorts Agarbatti ash at rave parties.

19) Alok Nath believes the F in FTV stands for Family

20) “Gandhiji used to call mahatma to Alok Nath.”

21) “Alok Nath carried Hanuman Chalisa to school instead of Notebooks.”

22) “Alok Nath is father to so may betas and betis that when his family decides to go on vacation they book a train!”

23) “Alok Nath wants twitter to add ‘Aashirwad’ button.”

24) “Buddha and Ashoka wanted to live a lavish and lustful life, but then they met Alok Nath.”

25) “When Alok Nath is around Even Salman Khan behaves like a good son.”

26) “Even Emran Hashmi can’t kiss Alok Nath daughters because of their sanskar.”

27) “When you type Alok nath on Google search, “I’m feeling Lucky” changes to “I’m feeling Sanskari”.

28) “In school days, Alok Nath bunked a lecture to attend his daughter’s wedding.”

29) “The only two wars Alok Nath has seen in his life are Haridwar and Pariwar.”

30) “‘Mujhe betiyon ki babuji banna hai’ -Alok Nath when teacher asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up.”

31) “Alok Nath is such a personality that at times his wife calls him bhaisaab.”

32) Aarti All Night – Alok Nath Version
Aaj mandira khullando
Kanyadaan Hullan do
nariyal ko fod faad ke
dukh ashanti..

33) Alok Nath;s Version: 4 baj gaye…lekin aarti abhi baaki hai.

34) Alok Nath believes in Kanyadaan at first sight!

35) Alok Nath is so sanskari that he removes his slippers before playing Temple Run and distributes ‘prasad’ after crossing each level!!

36) Alok Nath Sends Samdhan Request, Instead of Friend Request

37) Rajnikanth once taught Moral Education in Primary School, Yes Alok Nath was present in that class.

38) Alok Nath is the only person who looks into Ayesha Takia’s eyes

39) Alok nath is so sanskaari…ki uska cooker bhi seeti nahi bajata…!!!

40) Alok Nath uses as a search engine.

41) On Alok Nath’s wedding his friends threw the “Bachelor Aarti” for him!!

42) Alok Nath watches Fast and Furious movies wearing a seat belt.

43) Alok Nath once gave an IIT entrance exam. The exam is now called IIT JEE.

44) Once a Drunk Girl told Alok Nath, to do with her whatever he wants…… He took her to do her Kanyadaan!

45) Alok Nath stares at pictures of Victoria’s Secret models and fantasizes about doing their kanyadaan.

46) Strong sanskaar is what made Alok Nath never even look at a chicken breast.

47) Alok Nath is the living proof that Twitteraites can troll anything anybody for no reason.

48) Alok Nath forwards only two types of jokes on Whatsapp: Veg jokes and Jain jokes.

49) At the mere mention of Alok Nath, honeymoon was all red in the face.

50) When Aloknath learnt to speak, his first sentence was “Beta shayad mere seene mein dard hai”

51) Alok Nath has never received salary, he always received pension

52) Aloknath and Anoop Jalota jam up at weekends for jagrata parties.

53) Alok Nath uses a chandan flavored condom.

54) Alok Nath ne apni wife ka kanyadan bhi khud hi kiya tha

55) Mahatma gandhi(father of the nation)~pre independence..Alok nath(father of the nation)~post independence..

56) Alok nath starts a speech with ” Mere samdhan’s aur shamdhis

57) Honey Singh: Chhoti Dress me bomb lagdi mainu. Alok Nath: Chhoti Dress me thand lag jayegi beti.

58) He: sorry no sex before marriage. She: that’s so Alok Nath of you.!

59) Alok Nath’s Caller tune is ‘Babul ki Duaaein leti Jaa’

60) Sholay Spoiler Alert! Alok Nath plays Gabbar Singh’s character and tells Thakur “Samdhiji kya aap apne haath mujhe de sakte hain?”

61) If Alok Nath would have starred in Dabang;the title track would have been Hud-Hud Havan-Havan-Havan HuD-Hud Havan-Havan

62) Alok Nath has already been declared Time magazine’s Man of the Year 2014.

63) What is similar between Sunny Leone, Poonam Pandey and Sherlyn Chopra?
They all take GHUNGHAT when Alok Nath is around..

64) Danny Denzongpa is trending coz of the Aashirwaad given by Alok Nath.

65) “Alok Nath’s exam centre for CAT was hanuman mandir..”

66) Alok Nath never gives shit. Only Aashirvaad.

67) Khabar Aayi Hai Ki Alok Nath Itne Sanskaari Hai Ki Subah Subah Uth Ke Apne Hi Pair Chu Lete Hai !:D

68) “Alok Nath’s farts smell likes agarbatti”

69) Alok Nath went to a cardiologist for checkup and sang “Aaj humaare dil mein ajab si uljhan hai”

70) “Sangeet Sandhya” is Alok Nath version of Rock Concert!!

Here are the latest Jokes of Alok Nath

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