110 Latest Jokes on Alok Nath

Alok Nath Latest Jokes

Here is a list of 110 latest Alok Nath Jokes that are doing rounds on Whatsapp now.


  • “Mujhe Betiyon Ke Babuji Ban’na Hey” – Alok Nath when teacher asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up.
  • According to ‘Hindu Marriage Act’, a girl cannot marry if Alok Nath disapproves.
  • After Kalyug, It’s going to be ‘Alok-Nath-Yug’.
  • Alok Nath believes in ‘Aashirwad at first sight’.
  • Alok Nath believes the ‘F’ in FTV stands for Family.
  • Alok Nath calls Sunny Leone as ‘Sunny Beti’.
  • Alok Nath can destroy his trolls just by sprinkling few drops of water from his Kamandal and saying “Jaa Main Tujh Hen Shrap Deta Hun”.
  • Alok Nath carried Hanuman-Chalisa to school instead of notebooks.
  • Alok Nath collected all his savings and tried to purchase Rajesh Khanna’s bungalow as it is named
    ‘Aashirwad’.
  • Alok Nath does not sign a movie till there are at least three crying scenes.
  • Alok Nath eats Prasad as starters.
  • Alok Nath favorite game is football. It is because of players like Kaka, Mata and Nani.
  • Alok Nath gave Dacoit Valmiki such a deep and massive lecture on Sanskaar that he became
    religious person.
  • Alok Nath goes to KFC to eat his favorite ‘Gaajar ka Halwa’.
  • Alok Nath had all the Senior Citizen privileges since he was 6 years old.
  • Alok Nath has just completed level 66 on ‘Barfi Crush’.
  • Alok Nath has never received salary, he always received pension.
  • Alok Nath has requested for ‘Saubhagyavati Raho’ button on Facebook.
  • Alok Nath has requested for an ‘Aashirwad’ button to Twitter.
  • Alok Nath has zero friends because he always turns ‘Dosti into Rishtedaari’.
  • Alok Nath is ‘Babuji-Zoned’ at first sight.
  • Alok Nath is father of so many betaas and betis that when his family decides to go on a vacation,
    they book a train!
  • Alok Nath is now a worried man, Obama’s daughter is getting marriageable.
  • Alok Nath is so sanskaari that he bought a new phone and broke coconut on it.
  • Alok Nath is so sanskaari that he buys the newspaper just to read the matrimonial.

Alok

  • Alok Nath is so sanskaari that he closes his eyes when he takes a bath.
  • Alok Nath is so sanskaari that he cuts ‘Mathura Ke Pede’ on his birthday.
  • Alok Nath is so sanskaari that he distributes ‘Prasad’ after crossing each level in Temple Run.
  • Alok Nath is so sanskaari that he removes his slippers before playing Temple Run.
  • Alok Nath is so sanskaari that he was born at the age of 65.
  • Alok Nath is so sanskaari that he whips himself with leather belt if he sees his own body above
    knees.
  • Alok Nath is so sanskaari that when he heard the song ‘Gandi Baat’, he put ‘Gangajal’ in his ears.
  • Alok Nath is so sanskaari that when he walks into a bar, the bar walks out.
  • Alok Nath is someone who is worried about ‘Kanyadaan’ of a girl who is yet to be born.
  • Alok Nath is such a personality that at times his wife calls him ‘Bhaisaab’.
  • Alok Nath is the original ‘Father of the Nation’.
  • Alok Nath is the SI unit of ‘Sanskar’.
  • Alok Nath Ne Ekk Baar Toot’te Taare Ko Dekh Keh Beti Ki Bidae Maang Li.
  • Alok Nath Ne Janam Lete Hi Nurse Ka Kanyadaan Kar Diya Tha.
  • Alok Nath Ne Sirf Ek Ashlil Movie Dekhi Hey: ‘Dropadi Ka Cheer Haran’.
  • Alok Nath once blessed wheat farms and now we have ‘Aashirwaad-Atta’.
  • Alok Nath once said “Jeete Raho” to a man and today he is known as ‘MDH wale Dadaji’.
  • Alok Nath only saw this season of Big Boss, Kyun Ki ‘Big Boss Saath 7 Hai’.
  • Alok Nath serves ‘Gangajal’ in cocktail parties.
  • Alok Nath smokes ‘Agarbattis’.
  • Alok Nath snorts Agarbattis at rave parties.
  • Alok Nath strongly disapproves of Mukesh Ambani. Because his Sanskar met with an accident.
  • Alok Nath used to bunk school for Ram Katha.
  • Alok Nath walks into a bar and orders ‘Haldi Ka Doodh’.
  • Alok Nath walks slowly, because of song ‘Babuji Zara Dheere Chalo’.

Alok

  • Alok Nath wants an “Aashirwad” button on Twitter!
  • Alok Nath was the first person to call ‘Parle’ as ‘Parle-G’.
  • Alok Nath was wanted to be Kenya’s “Father of the Nation”. So that he could do ‘Kenya-daan’.
  • Alok Nath watches Fast and Furious movies wearing a seat belt.
  • Alok Nath went to Shirdi for his honeymoon.
  • Alok Nath went to Sunburn Music Festival and did a ‘Surya-Namaskar’ over there.
  • Alok Nath went to ‘Vaishno Devi’ for his Bachelor’s party before marriage.
  • Alok Nath will do item number dance only if it’s ‘Bhakti-Sangeet’.
  • Alok Nath won the ‘STAR Parivaar Award’ for Favorite Pita Bread.
  • Alok Nath: “You know nothing of ‘friend-zone’. I am ‘Babuji-zoned’.”
  • Alok Nath: a silent guardian, a watchful father, our ‘Kanyadaan’ expert.
  • Alok Nath’s caller tune is “Babul Ki Duaayen Leti Ja”.
  • Alok Nath’s CV reads: Degree – MBA in Kanyadaan. Skills – Sanskaar. Experience – done total 1109673 Kanyadaan. Hobby – Giving Aashirwaad.

Alok


  • Alok Nath’s idea of a music concert is a ‘Mata Ka Jagrata’.
  • Alok Nath’s talk show would be called “Aashirwad with Alok”.
  • Alok Nath’s watch displays only ‘Achha’ and ‘Bura’ samay.
  • Alok Nath’s WhatsApp shows: “Last seen doing Kanyadaan at..”
  • Alok Nath’s wildest fantasies involve a harmonium and Reema Lagoo.
  • Angry Birds became ‘Sansakari Birds’ in Alok Nath’s smartphone.
  • Anoop Jalota is Alok Nath’s Yo Yo Honey Singh.
  • Arun Govil grew old and became Alok Nath.
  • ‘Babuji Zara Dheere Chalo’ song was written when Alok Nath was young.
  • Breaking News: All the conspiracy behind Alok Nath has been revealed. It was Rajnikant who started all this to divert peoples mind from his jokes.
  • Buddha and Ashoka wanted to live a lavish and lustful life, but then they met Alok Nath.
  • Even Emran Hashmi can’t kiss Alok Nath daughters because of their Sanskar.
  • Even when Alok Nath clicks his Selfie, he makes sure that his 52 family members, 3 servants, Krishan ji ki murti and 2 dogs.

Alok

  • Every Christmas, Alok Nath fills stockings with Aashirwad.
  • For Alok Nath, ‘Ram Chahe Leela Chahe Leela Chahe Ram’ is a bhajan.
  • Future Breaking News: Tour operators to launch ‘Alok Nath Yatra’ to clean all your sins.
  • Gandhi Ji used to call Alok Nath a Mahatma.
  • Gods take blessings from Alok Nath.
  • If Alok Nath goes in Bigg Boss then every morning will start with a Hanuman Chalisa and aarti of Mata Rani.
  • If Chuck Norris & Rajnikanth make love to Nirupa Roy at the same time & if they have a baby boy, that boy will grow old to become Alok Nath.
  • In school days, Alok Nath bunked a lecture to attend his daughter’s wedding.
  • Jab Babuji Alok Nath Hon, Toh Emraan Hashmi Bhi Sanskari Hon Jata Hey.
  • Kalyug was started when Alok Nath did a negative role in ‘Bol Radha Bol’.
  • Koi Ladki Unh Sehn Chhu Naa Jaye Ess Liye, Alok Nath Ji Ne Aaj Tak Touch Screen Phone Nahi Liya.
  • Number of Kanyadaan done by Alok Nath is still higher than the number of days attended by an article in his article ship.
  • Once Alok Nath bought a new MacBook laptop and broke coconut on it.
  • Once Alok Nath gave aashirwad to a boy. Today we know that boy as Arvind Kejriwal.
  • Once Rajnikanth opened Ramayana and Alok Nath was born.
  • Poonam Pandey should thank her stars that Alok Nath didn’t give her Sanskars, else her life would’ve been hopeless and jobless.

Alok

  • Question: Alok Nath’s favorite song?
    Answer: ‘Oppa Samdhan Style!’
  • Question: How would Alok Nath howl if he was a Werewolf?
    Answer: ‘Bahuuuuu…’
  • Question: What will Alok Nath ride if he stars in Dhoom 3?
    Answer: Bullock cart.
  • Question: Which car does Alok Nath drive?
    Answer: Sanskar
  • Rahul Dravid was Alok Nath of Indian Cricket team.
  • Rohit Sharma and Dale Steyn should watch some Alok Nath movies and learn Sanskar.
  • Salman Khan is still Virgin because of Sanskar given by Alok Nath in ‘Maine Pyaar Kiya’.
  • The only two wars Alok Nath has seen in his life are ‘Haridwar’ and ‘Pariwar’.
  • This New Year eve, Alok Nath is going to drink ‘Charnamrat’ on the rocks.
  • When a girl goes down on Alok Nath, he gives her aashirwad.
  • When Alok Nath caught a thief, he took him to ‘Mata Ki Chowkie’ instead of police chowkie!
  • When Alok Nath decides to get modern he wears ‘dhotis with zips’.
  • When Alok Nath is around Even Salman Khan behaves like a good son.
  • When Alok Nath parties, it means tea party.
  • When Alok Nath plays temple run, he runs TOWARDS the temple.
  • When Alok Nath was born doctor said, “Badhaai Hon, Babuji Huye Hey”.
  • When Alok Nath was born, Doctor gave him to his father and said, “Mubarak Hon, Betiyon Ka Baap Huwa Hai”.
  • When you type Alok Nath on Google search, “I’m feeling Lucky” changes to “I’m feeling Sanskari”.

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